The Best Life Ever!

I just want to level set a little bit.  So I'll just say that I have the best life ever!  I am so very blessed.  God has provided me with so many blessings, so many opportunities.  I have a great husband, amazing kids, the best friend any one could ever ask for, a beautiful home that keeps me warm and safe, parents that support me and never stop loving me, and a circle of family and friends that keeps my cup overflowing.

I'm not trying to brag and I am not saying my life is easy.  I struggle and fall down on a regularly scheduled basis!  It is only by the grace of God that I can kneel while I'm down there and pray for the ability to stand back up some days.  

But it is thru that faith and thru that grace that I can say without a doubt, I have the best life ever.

I haven't always felt this way - so lucky/blessed - no matter what circumstances blew my way.  In fact, I used to live under a dark cloud of pessimism.  No matter what rainbows painted the sky as a promise of hope, I'd focus on the dark clouds and rain.  I spent years hurt and angry and lost.  

So what changed?  How did I become someone who now chooses to seek the silver lining in everything?  

Sometimes it takes a significant, life changing event to jar you to the core of your being.  To rattle the foundation of the life you've created.  There came a point in my life where I felt like all I had left was Hope.  I didn't have understanding.  I didn't have peace.  I didn't have love.  I felt so alone and so empty.  Honestly, I felt so scared because when I looked at my life, what I saw was not who I wanted to be.  My life was not what I believed all of this was supposed to be about.  

But somehow I found hope in all of that.  Hope is that thing you hold on to when everything else is falling apart and the ship is sinking.  Hope is really that light at the end of the tunnel.  When I finally remembered who was shining that light, things began to get brighter.  

And so began a journey.  A beautiful, long, winding journey that I pray will not end until the day I take my last breath.  A journey of finding myself and finding God.  A journey of discovering who he made me to be and how I can live out my life with passion and purpose.  A journey of taking the struggles I've had and the lessons I've learned and creating a better world for those around me.

Healing takes time.  True healing takes the love of God.  A Father so full of love and passion for each of us that he gave us the most amazing gift.  Until I was a parent myself, I never understood what true sacrifice that really meant.  The gift of eternal life at such an incredibly high price.  Jesus paid for our eternal life because he loved us so much.  I never got that before - what that really, truly meant.  A love like that, a love worth dying for, heals and completes us like nothing here on earth ever can.

But at the end of the day?  I'm just human.  I make mistakes, I get frustrated and fussy (I'm sure my husband would be happy to confirm this if needed!!), and I don't always live up to the woman I want to be.  I see that dark cloud looming and some days I plop down and stew awhile.  But an incredibly wise woman {LysaTerkeurst} has taught me to focus on valuing imperfect progress and practice, practice, Practice!  

So these days, when I notice I've set up camp at the base of the mountain to chew on a problem I practice looking for the light.  I practice gratitude.  For if I'm busy being thankful for all my blessings, and they are so many, then I don't have the time to feel quite as sorry for myself.